My Pain My Affliction (Original in Kashmiri: Panun Dod, Panaen Dag) written by Dr.Rafiq Masoodi, with its eloquent and emphatic English translation by Prof. Mohammad Aslam, is a poignant self-discovery and inner exploration of an individual whose verses pulsate with the cadence of profound emotional experiences.
It is a peregrination that delves into the multitude of shades of human emotions, exploring themes of love, loss, existential anguish, and spiritual questing with a finesse that leaves the reader both haunted and enchanted. The poetry within these pages carries a unique potency, a testament to Dr. Masoodi’s adroitness in weaving words into dossals of meaning that are as profound as they are penetrating.
The translation by Prof. Aslam does justice to the original essence, bridging languages and cultures, thus allowing the poetry to resonate with a wider audience without losing its core spirit. His translation manoeuvres the complex topography of Dr. Masoodi’s original Kashmiri with an eloquence and fidelity that is commendable. And the beauty is that each poem, in its transition from Kashmiri to English, retains the nuanced delicacies of emotion, spirituality, and introspection that define Dr. Masoodi’s work.
My Pain My Affliction is a florilegium of heartrending poems that conjures up a multitude of emotions in the readers. The poet has emphatically captured the afflictions, ordeals and experiences of his life in this anthology. Each poem in this collection has a unique message that is delivered in a subtle yet powerful way.
One can blatantly find emotions teetering between the strongly personal and pervading across the board, offering coup d’œil into the soul of the poet who is steering through the territories of pining, love, loss, and the eternal pursuance of peace in a wounded territory of Kashmir. The adept employment of imagery and metaphors that are deeply rooted in the Kashmiri ethos is undisguised through the text, yet resonates with a wide range of readers.
The thematic experiences ranging from the introspective solemnity of Two Days (Za Doh) to the stark realisation of the temporality of fame in Fame (Shohrat), capture the ephemeral nature of human existence and the enduring quest for spiritual and emotional solace. The through and through, vivid portrayal of the Kashmiri psyche beautifully in meld with Dr. Masoodi’s candid exploration of human emotions across various spectrums of life is evoked on almost every page.
Each poem brings forth a distinct savour yet oils wheels of the cohesive whole. The poem Two Days does not merely deliberate on a visit to a sacred site but is also a deep contemplation on personal worth and spiritual longing. Another poem, ‘Fame’, makes inquiries into the fugitive reality of getting fame. The verses call into question the fleeting
nature of our triumphs and thrum with a piercing overtone of emptiness that follows the recognition.
Furthermore, the poem Eternal Burning (wans gayam dazan) delves into an unabating pursuit for closure and the human tendency to remain hopeful in every circumstance. It is a plaintive cry and an emphatic reminder of longing and the pain stemming from the absence that defines human life.
Here, the poet talks about an everlasting yearning, a metaphor for the insatiable things we covet for that are blazing within our hearts; seeking solace in fulfilment but realising peace is only in the acceptance of insatiability. The beauty of the poet’s deftness lies in his ability to render the impalpable corporeal, to give form to the formless throes that weigh heavily on the soul.
The poet’s portrayal of Hotel (muta’am), set in the backdrop of Madina, is not merely a critique of superficial religiosity but a deep, introspection into the essence of faith and the ways in which it’s manifested. The yoghurt, sour to the palate yet divine in its origin, serves as a powerful allegory for the mysteries of the belief system and the connection of divine love.
His poem Murder (Khun-i-Nahaq), with its reflection on childhood innocence lost, resonates with a profound sadness, capsulising the effect of human guilt and remorse. Dr. Masoodi’s engagement with the theme of longing and loss is nowhere more pronounced than in Manacles (zanjo’ori) and Fire and Frost (nar te kathkosh).
Through these pieces, he inspects the shackles of desire and the inevitable decay of vitality with a stoicism that is both tormenting and serene. Meanwhile, Seer ( mausa’m tshinas) and A Moment (akh tsyuh) stand as testaments to the transcendent power of faith and the cyclical nature of time.
Yet, it is in the personal and communal reflections—like those in A Dream Never Dies and I am Waiting (ba chusai praran) –where Dr. Masoodi’s verse transcends the boundaries of the personal to touch the universal. Here, his poetry becomes a mirror evincing the collective consciousness of humans marked by strife who are yet resolute and hopeful for a new dawn.
A Moment and A Dream Never Dies (khab tchine za’anh maraan) underscore the transient nature of time and the undying nature of dreams, respectively, jogging our memories to the notion that the timeless human spirit prevails against odds. The melancholy yet resilient tone of -‘I am Waiting’ starkly portrays the enduring hope amidst despair, a sentiment that tries to find way in every heart that has known suffering.
The poem dedicated to Sheikhul Alam (myani alamdara) and New Dawn (nov aftaab) articulates a poignant yearning for enlightenment and renewal, rooting it firmly in the spiritual heritage of Kashmir. ‘Lal Ded’, with its evocative homage to the revered figure, and A Cloak (jaama), with its existential musing, further solder the poet as a Kashmiri magsman.
Perhaps one of the most touching aspects of Dr. Masoodi’s work is his ability to capture the quintessence of Kashmir – its ethereal beauty, its enduring pain, and its eternal perseverance. Poems like Dangiwatch (dangivotch) and Village and Graveyard (gaam te qabristan) serve not only as a jeremiad for the changing face and sorrows of Kashmir but also as a testament to its undying spirit and the indelible mark it leaves on its people.
The poignant tribute to the late Professor Ghulam Rasool Bacha (marhoom profesar ghulam rasool bacha sindi naava) and the touching ode To My Sister (deedi hinde’ nave’) pay respect to the beautiful bonds and beautiful sentiments of respect, love, and admiration that underpin human relationships. Dr. Masoodi not only celebrates individual relationships but also pays homage to the indomitable spirit of Kashmir by meandering through nostalgia, gratitude, and remembrance.
From the blessed sands of Makkah in Two Days to the universal pursuit for worldly fame and the poignant musings on life’s ephemeral nature in Eternal Burning, Dr. Masoodi’s poetry swings and shifts through the vicissitudes of existence. He vacillates between the intimate and the infinite, sketching vistas brimming with emotion and educing a sense of shared humanity.
One can certainly see the pithy juxtaposition throughout the text; the personal with the universal, the transient with the eternal, thereby offering a multifaceted perspective on human existence. At the heart of the text lies a profound connection to the sacred and the profane, to love and loss, to the divine and the mundane.
It’s a pilgrimage through the terrains of faith, doubt, joy, and despair, much like the pilgrimage to Makkah and Madina he describes in Two Days. But the journey here is not just geographic; it’s a passage through the internal landscapes of human vulnerability and spiritual longing.
The poems, while deeply rooted in personal experience, transcend individuality, speaking to the collective human condition with empathy and insight. Moreover, the diversity of themes—from spiritual introspections and pining for love lost, to the societal commentary and nostalgia for a childhood untarnished by the complexities of adulthood—exhibits the versatile prowess of the poet.
In essence, My Pain My Affliction serves as both mirror and window – a medium through which a reader can reflect on his/her own experiences of pain and loss, while also offering glimpses into terrains of human emotion and resilience.
It is a mirror held up to the paradoxes of the human condition, reflecting back at us not just our own visages marred by sorrows, but also illuminated by the glow of hope. It invites readers to look beyond the facade of everyday existence into the deeper currents of human emotion and experience.
Dr. Masoodi’s voice, amplified by Prof. Aslam’s meticulous translation comes forth not just as a record of personal affliction but as a pharos of universal truth, urging us to welcome our vulnerabilities as sources of strength and wisdom.
This book is a must-read for anyone who appreciates poetry that bridges worlds, evokes deep reflection, and touches the heart with its raw, unfiltered probity. It is a reminder that in our shared afflictions lie the seeds of our dispensed redemption.
Mahoor Haya Shah, writer from Srinagar