India captain Harmanpreet Kaur has revealed that she wanted to take an indefinite break from the game because of the controversy that followed the World T20 in the West Indies.
The team management and Harmanpreet took a collective callto drop senior player Mithali Raj for the semifinal against eventual runners-upEngland, triggering a massive controversy that led to divisions in the team andouster of coach Ramesh Powar.
Harmanpreet played the Women’s Big Bash League right afterthe World T20 in November but back home the talk of unrest in the team and herstrained relationship with ODI captain Mithali gathered more steam.
She was fed up with it before the New Zealand tour beganunder new coach W V Raman. And then came the ankle injury that gave her a “muchneeded” break from the Indian dressing room.
“It (the injury) gave me a much needed break frominternational cricket and the Indian dressing room. I had almost made up mymind to let my parents know that I wanted to take a break. I don’t want to holdon to a spot in the Indian team just because I am a senior player,” she toldESPNCricinfo.
“I wanted to get away from cricket. Whatever happened aroundthe team before that was immensely draining for me. Some of the things saidwere so far from reality that I felt, ‘I need to step away from this madnessfor a while’. I’m here to play cricket. If people want to drag me intounnecessary things, drag the team into unnecessary things, I have to stoptrying to reason with them,” said the 30-year-old.
She twisted her ankle ahead of the first T20 Internationalin New Zealand, following the team’s triumph in the preceding ODI series.
“I twisted my left foot while playing football during awarm-up ahead of the first T20I in New Zealand (in early February). I somehowmanaged to play all three T20Is despite being in some discomfort because tocall up a replacement at such short notice may not have been possible. Besides,all through my career, I’ve played with fevers, shoulder, ankle and wristinjuries, so I didn’t feel like this was going to be anything significant.
“The taping and painkillers had been working fine in thewarm-ups, so I thought I could deal with it. But during the matches, mymovement was severely affected. Scans later revealed that there were some Level1 and 2 ligament tears near the back of my ankle. I was at the National CricketAcademy from February 22 to April 9, and that break was a blessing in disguisefor me,” she said.
Harmanpreet said the negative talk around the team after theWorld T20 affected her mindset adversely.
“Look, I was to play in the WBBL after the World T20, andfor a while, after coming from the West Indies, I was even considering onlyplaying in the overseas leagues and then making my way back into the Indianteam. I spent hours alone, asking myself, ‘Why do I play sport?’ Because Ienjoy it, because playing cricket is the only thing I’ve ever done in life.
“Agar khelke mazaa nahi aa raha hai (If I’m not enjoying thegame) then I don’t want to block a place in the side, because money is noteverything. Yes, we’ve only just started making some money from playingcricket, but if cricket is not giving me joy, I am happy to walk away ratherthan hold on to that spot just because I have a Grade A contract.”So all of these thoughts were bothering me alot. Mentally I was unwell, unfit, but that injury bailed me out of thatterrible head space,” she added.